i know i havent written in this thing is years, but i figure i have something worth sharing so here goes!
just got back from AMI Revolution 2007, an annual church retreat. my brother's church was one of the churches attending and he asked me to come. being hesitant, i replied "i'll check my schedule," my polite way of saying no way in hell. he kept pestering me and being the persistant man that he is, i gave in; not to see God, but to spend time with him before i get a job and he goes back to michigan for his sophomore year.
arriving there in philly, i felt no different. stepping out of the car and checking in, i didnt know what to expect. my brother introduced me to people from his church and they shook my hand saying, "its good to finally meet you." confused, i just let their hand go slowly and walked away.
i met with my small group, introduced myself, and sat with them for our first evening worship. as the praise band began to play, and the lyrics posted up on the screen for us to sing along, i couldnt help but sing along for my love of music. however, these songs didnt have ordinary lyrics, i read them and began to think and talk to God in my heart. i had been raised in a christian family my whole life but never really took anything too seriously. as each song began to play, i felt more and more uplifted and i felt that god was really speaking to me through my passion for music.
as the sermon was being delivered by pastor bruce, i felt my heart being opened by the holy spirit. as i listened, i began to think and assess my life based on his message. he spoke about being a disciple of the lord. i took heavy notes, knowing that i would need them later. by the end of the night, i knew something drastic was about to happen in my life.
as the morning opened with another worship and small group session, i knew right then and there that this is how God was going to get to me. i wasnt there by accident. as the day went by i began to piece things together. i had a feeling that God was using my brother to get to me. i approached my brother and asked, "what did your church group people mean when they said it was finally good to meet me?" "i asked them to pray for you," he replied. boy did that shock me. my brother asked his church to pray for me, so that i would one day open my eyes and see God for who he is. "have you been praying for me all this time too?" i muttered. he nodded his head. i was speechless.
at the evening worship that night, the praise band played louder than the first night. one song really touched my heart, as tears started rolling down my face. my hands were held high as i closed my eyes and bowed my head. suddenly my clapping to the beat turned into a breakdown. i knew it was then that god had me in his hands. the song was "marvelous light." here are the lyrics:
Verse 1 I once was fatherless, a stranger with no hope; Your kindness wakened me, Awakened me, from my sleep
Verse 2 Your love it beckons deeply, a call to come and die. By grace now I will come And take this life, take your life.
Pre-chorus Sin has lost it's power, death has lost it's sting. From the grave you've risen VICTORIOUSLY!
Chorus Into marvelous light I'm running, Out of darkness, out of shame. By the cross you are the truth, You are the life, you are the way
Verse 3 My dead heart now is beating, My deepest stains now clean. Your breath fills up my lungs. Now I'm free. now I'm free!
Bridge Lift my hands and spin around, See the light that i have found. Oh the marvelous light Marvelous light
Lift my hands and spin See the light that i have found why did this song make me tear? i knew that god had taken over my heart. but why me? i've committed so many sins and wrongdoings. why does he want me to be his? as i kept singing, i realized that i was exactly the type of person he wants. he wants to take sinners under his wing and bless them with his love. thank the lord that he has taken me. as each song played, i just started getting more and more teary.
one of the other pastors began to preach about faith and deeds. he referred to 1 Peter 2:12 - "Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us." this verse really hit me. i called myself christian all this time but who was i kidding? i hadnt done a single deed that glorified him. again, emotions ran high and i wept. i knew that from that moment on, i had to live my life differently; in a way that glorifies god - his will be done.
as i look back, this was all planned out by god. all this time i wondered, why did god let me go so far astray? i realized that he did it so that i could be a living testimony for him. if a man like me, wicked and sinful, can come back to god, who could possibly run from the truth? god used my brother as a tool to get to me. my brother prayed for months, asking every christian he came in contact with to pray for me, and ya know what? god answers prayers.
another thing really loved me was pastor seth, my brother's home church pastor, showed us a video of a man who was deaf and blind, being baptized. seeing how happy he was to be under the lords wing made the whole congregation cry. a man who had every right to curse god for his crippled body came to the lord and thanked him for life. as he was being baptized, he was overcome with so much joy that he couldnt contain himself. i saw the video and asked, "if a man like him can praise god going through such adversity in his life, why cant i be thankful for the things i've been blessed with?" if you are curious about the video, here it is:
i cannot use god's words and not live life accordingly. i can no longer pass judgment on others. i can no longer engage in ungodly activities. i have so much work to do. i have 2 billion people in the world who have never even heard of the lord's name. much work is to be done, and i really will do everything i can to see that every creature from the four corners of the world bow down before him.
i have met so many people at this retreat who have meant worlds to me. seeing their lives and their love has been such a blessing. we shared silly stories, laughs, and spiritual testimonies that has benefited all of us. the lord is good, amen?
Recaps of AMI Revolution 2007: - Bonding with my brother and fellowship with others - Seeing God once again - Dim Sum in chinatown where gabbie made me practice my chinese - buying ritas in the city only to find out we couldve got it free on campus - running like mad men from the subway to the sanctuary just to make sure we got back in time - looking for a guy to throw up a gang sign - finding a food truck cook who would cook and hold my money at the same time - takin pictures of a cop giving a ticket - many many more i cant think of!
i think the best way is to just end this with a small prayer. hope you guys read this and pray for me as well.
Father God,
Thank you for all the blessings that you have given to me in my life. Thank you for using my brother as a tool to soften my heart and open my eyes to see you. I want to thank you for AMI; the pastors that they have, the ministry that they are actively preaching, as well as the people that belong to these churches. They have truely made a difference in my life, and i know they will continue to change lives, one by one.
Lord, please watch over all of the AMI churches sending out teams for missions. I pray that you give them the strength they need to share your love with people all over the world. Bring them back with stories, testimonies, and pictures of joy to share with all of us back home.
Again, I thank you and pray that you give me the strength to stay dedicated to you. I want to be a living testimony of your grace and kindness so others may see and come to you.
In your son's name,
Amen.
In case you're curious of the other songs that touched me in worship, here are a few! leave me feedback and let me know if you like them! god bless
